Family Vacation

This week marks one month until we head to the beach for vacation.  To say that it has been easy to get this trip planned would be a total lie.  There have been hoops, trust me.  The Armstrong family has grown from a family of five to now fourteen.  And, I know that 14 really isn't that many, but these 14 have lots going on - jobs, varsity sports, dance lessons, teething, turning three, building apartments, jobs, and jobs.  But, the good news is that it looks like it is going to happen, making me and my mama happy.  I guess I just want to talk about why I like going on vacation and what I have learned the past few years while traveling with my clan.  Here are some lessons that I have learned:

1.  We are all on vacation.

Getting back to the fourteen issue.  One thing I try to keep in mind when on vacation is that this is a vacation for each person.  Dads have got to be considered.  It is one of the few weeks they get off for the whole year, so if they want to veg out on the couch, fry on the beach, play BORING golf, or just surf the net, it is really up to them.  I shouldn't suggest things for them to do, they can do what ever pleases their hardworking hearts.  And moms, we get a little rest as well.  I think it is an adjustment to go from normal life to vacation life.  It takes me about three days to get in vaca-mode (a little drink in the afternoon helps, or so I have learned).  I am going to try to work this time around on easing up a little sooner, while TOTALLY KEEPING MY KIDS ON SCHEDULE SO THAT THEY SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT.  I see your heads nodding, moms.  Just keep telling yourself, "I'm on vacation".  And the kids, this is a special time for them as well.  They get to be surrounded by the people who love them the most in the world.  I know it seems like it is always about them, but they need a little vacation love as well.  What is my point?  I guess it is good to be aware of the fact that this is a vacation for everyone and so letting others do what they want, even if it isn't what I had in mind, is for the best.

2.  Small Groups.

If you know me, you know I love to plan and follow that plan.  But, that might not work for my siblings, their spouses, or even my parents.  It is my responsibility to keep my little family happy and functioning.  So, I have learned to make a plan for my family of four, do our thing, and include anyone else who would like to come along.  It is too much to think that a plan for 14 would ever work out.  Support the ideas of other family members, try new things, be flexible, but don't try to do everything together.  It just is unrealistic.  Be happy that you have the opportunity to be together for this time, but aware that you don't have to be all together all of the time in order for it to be a good family vacation.

3.  Focus on What you Love.

Since it is impossible to have the vacation of your dreams - everyone rises and sleeps at the same time, everyone eats all meals together around a big table laughing and chatting, perfect weather everyday, no one being annoying (like me and my planning), on and on - love what is available.  The following list contains a few of my favorite things about a family vacation:

a.  My brother being so excited about vacation that he is the first at our meeting place with a little belly ache of excitement.

b.  Talking for hours in the car.

c.  My dad making coffee and bacon early in the morning.  The early risers - Scott, dad, Ryan, Austin, and me - all up sharing a quiet morning.  Scott and dad read the paper, Austin and I sit on the couch and watch tv, Ryan scopes out the weather outside.  Soon little footsteps come out for more morning cuddles than they can handle.

d.  Playing in the pool with my girls all day while the rest of the family is at the beach (we all know I need my alone time).  Those hours of sun and the pool make me feel like a SUPERSTAR.  

e.  Riding bikes with my nieces and nephews makes me feel alive.  We ride around and around.  It is one of the most relaxing things on earth.

f.  Seeing my girls play and be taken care of by my siblings makes me get all misty.  Makes me want more kids so that they can have brothers and sisters like I have.

g.  Cracking up at Shelly cleaning the clean house, just in case.  

h.  Seeing my parents hug as they realize that they are lucky to have kids that love each other.  I imagine that is just a wonderful feeling.  

Okay, I'll stop.  I could go to "Z" but you would all be bored.  There is much more about teasing, eating, cheer leading, pool games, sneaky tricks, shopping, etc.  My heart is just excited thinking about it.  Yeah, so back to the lessons...

4.  Mind your Business.  

One big family is made up of lots of small families.  These small families are used to functioning on their own.  Give people some space.  Let people do their own thing.  You don't have to entertain, organize, soothe, provide.  Conflict will arise.  Someone will have a bad day.  Someone will get a work call.  Someone will miss a nap.  Someone will need a time out.  Someone will make a bad choice.  It's going to happen.  You just don't have to fix it.  Let the little family work it out on their own.  This helps to keep a little problem from becoming a mess of a huge problem.  

That's all I can think of for now.  To summarize, as in Cliff's Notes version:

1.  Let people do their own thing

2.  Drink before dinner to prevent that long day kind of feeling.

3.  Focus on your favorite parts

4.  "Mind your business, mama, mind your business"

I think I will read this again and again over the next few weeks to help ensure a good family vacation.  Wish me luck, as you might have noticed most of this is about me learning not to have to be in control all of the time.  I hope this helps you survive, I mean enjoy, your next family vacation.