This is for Me

Yesterday I struggled to come up with a blog topic.  And, once I did, I struggled to write it.  The post seemed too vague, then too personal, too preachy, too vindictive.  I couldn't say what I wanted because I was worried about how it was going to come across to you.  

Over the past few weeks I have run into a few of you and had some Woe moments.  Some of you mentioned a post, a funny thing that happened this week, or recognized my children without ever meeting them before.  In those moments, I was taken back.  Shocked a little.  Maybe the fact that you read my ramblings wasn't a reality to me until then.  And, it got me thinking.  Am I being careful about what I put on here?  Am I exposing my family?  Am I making safe choices (we've all seen those Lifetime movies that put fear into our everyday lives)?  Am I being sensitive to how what I say effects you, influences you, makes you feel about yourself?  And, those are just the scary, negative feelings that came.  To be honest, I was flattered as well.  You took time out of your day to see what I had to say, you felt a connection to me, you wanted me to know that you cared.  This is just wonderful.  

And, this leads me to the title of my post.  This blog is for me.  For me.  Not you.  This is a therapy of sorts to help me gather my thoughts, to consider my feelings, to express myself when no one is around to listen.  I write for me.  If along the way you get something good out of it, bonus.  But, I can't filter what I write because I am concerned about you and what you will think of it.  That's not a blog.  At least that's not a blog without advertising.

To end, keep reading.  Keep mentioning things when you see me.  Help me to understand my life.  Help me to find connections in my community.  Be my friend.  Blog with me.  Talk to me.  And, in return, I will keep writing, for myself, for the mother in me, the girl, the child, the wife, the scared, the excited, the creative, the bored, the stressed woman that I am.  I love that you read, but it's not why I write.