The title of this blog may make you think of a few things. Jobs, plastic surgery, remodeling - these are just a few that pop out, but they are really only temporary. I was thinking of something a little more lasting, like communication.
I am very fortunate to have the family that I do. I have one brother, one sister, two married parents - we are about as normal of a family as you could imagine. I was told that I broke the mold when I had two daughters instead of one boy and one girl, like my siblings both have. I know, radical. We all live in the same town, and we enjoy getting together often. We may be normal, but we aren't perfect.
There seem to be two teams, we will call them, in my family. We have the team that I am on - the let's talk about it and get it out there kind - and the other team - the let's avoid any confrontation and stuff it under the rug players. You could imagine where this may cause some bumps in the road. I will admit, in case any family members are reading, that I have switched teams in the last few years. I am not sure if this is a result of working on my marriage (as communication is key) or just learning that stuffing wasn't working for me (STRESS AND ANGER). We, like most families, have learned our roles, learned how to work or cope with one another, and do our best to keep peace and love in our lives.
But, something funny about my family is that when we have an issue arise, everyone takes the blame for it. Weird, I know. I watch movies and tv. I know that usually people point fingers and blame. But, not us. We cloak ourselves in guilt and apologize, again, and again, and again. Most of the time, this is true. And then, the other person says it's their fault...the cycle goes on and on until we laugh at our lameness, ask questions why we are so weird, and go on with life.
I have no idea why I am telling you this. I just like getting to know about my family, about how we work, and about how we can improve. I love my family. Life would be dull and lonely without them. So, I want to preserve the family, my family. I think we could work on communicating a little more. Don't you think. So, that's my offering today. I am going to work on communicating...
4 comments:
I also need help with this. Especially with my marriage. I could only wish that conversations would arise in everyone taking the blame and then laughing afterwards. Usually, just tears. Let me know how you do.
I really have no advice to give. This is actually an entry of some frustration. As with all families, it is hard to meet everyone's expectations, especially when some are forth coming about their wants and needs and others try to dominate with their desires.
As for communication in my marriage, I have really tried to stop playing games. There just isn't time to talk in circles or energy for mind games. I just do my best to be direct about how I am feeling and what I am thinking. Sometimes I get heard and things work out; other times I feel that no one is listening. I just stopped (for the most part) expecting people to be able to read my mind. It's helped a little. Being sensitive to this has made me work on my listening skills as well.
Thank you for being vulnerable and honest. That is such a wonderful quality. Who knew marriage was so much work. Good thing the work pays off. Any thing working for you that might help me?
Hey, which team am I on? Or maybe, I don't want to know. Don't be mad at me. Hey, can I make you some cookies?....
Can anyone guess which team my sister, Leah, is on? She's the best. And, if she offers to make you cookies, let her. They're always good.
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